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04 September 2010 @ 06:05 pm
Like Tomorrow Was Promised  
Title: Like Tomorrow Was Promised
Rating: PG-13, I suppose? A tiny bit of language.
Fandom: As The World Turns
Pairing: Luke/Reid
A/N: I told myself I wasn't going to write speculative-ending-fic (read: set myself up for disappointment), but then this happened. And it's probably one of the worst things I've ever written but I'm too pissed at the show to care. So, hopefully the attempt is appreciated?
LuRe fans: I love you all. I don't think I could have continued to watch without such amazing people to watch with. <3
Oh, this fic contains speculative spoilers for the end...but I think we all know what said end is by now.

Reid's not afraid to die. He's seen enough death for it to have become nothing more than an inevitability, not something he should dwell on- or deny when the time comes.

No, Reid's not afraid to die. But he is afraid of what it will do to Luke.

He can see the tears in the eyes of the man he loves- the only man he's ever loved, he thinks, then pushes it to the back of his mind- can see Luke's heart displayed on his sleeve, vulnerable, trusting, caring, loving as ever. Reid's not sure when or how he managed to fall in love with someone so- so sweet, so human, so much like everything he's not, and then he starts to wonder when he started making such good life choices. He can't help but smile a bit at that thought, but he winces as he feels his chapped lips crack and split and the next thought that runs through his mind is- not soon enough. He tries to suppress his shudder- for the sake of his broken ribs, or maybe for the sake of Luke's sanity- but he clutches tighter at Luke's hand and blinks away the tears that he can't hide any more.

"I love you," and it still feels foreign on his tongue; unfamiliar and odd but not wrong, just...new, so he tries it again, "God, I love you," and Luke's smiling through his tears, drawing shaky breaths to regain his composure enough to respond, "I wasn't sure I'd ever hear those words from you."

"Neither was I," Reid admits, because since when is a deathbed an excuse to beat around the bush? "But...I do. And I need you to know that." And that, well, what good does that do? Just hurt him more?, but he has countless head injuries that he can blame for the irrational state of his heart and- who the fuck is he kidding, the only ones he has to blame are himself and one Mr. Luke Snyder, for putting his heart to better use than it's seen for years.

At least it won't go to waste now.

Reid is tired. He can feel his eyes slipping shut against his will, vision blurring as the exhaustion overtakes him. But through the haze, he can still hear Luke's voice, feel his breath tickle his neck as he leans in to whisper, "I love you, too."

And it's almost like permission; the rush of relief that courses through Reid's body at Luke's words, the contented smile that crosses his face as he opens his eyes one last time to look into Luke's soul, to reveal everything he didn't have time to say, everything that couldn't be put into words.

Then he's gone, Luke's hand still clutched in his own as his final breath fades away, the softest sigh of "love" lingering impossibly in the air as two lives shatter and the world- oblivious, unconcerned- continues to turn around them.
 
 
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: snow patrol- make this go on forever
 
 
 
snowmore: ATWT: Reid smilessnowmore on September 5th, 2010 01:00 am (UTC)
This reads so heartbreakingly. I'm sorry. I can't finish it. :)
shut up and play.: American Idiotshutupanddplay on September 5th, 2010 06:45 am (UTC)
I'm glad to hear it has an effect, at least! But I totally understand. Just thinking about the ending is really difficult atm. Thanks for giving it a shot, though! <3
slayerkittyslayerkitty on September 5th, 2010 01:03 am (UTC)
I'm crying.

Then he's gone, Luke's hand still clutched in his own as his final breath fades away, the softest sigh of "love" lingering impossibly in the air as two lives shatter and the world- oblivious, unconcerned- continues to turn around them.

*sob*
shut up and play.: Luke and Reid Kissshutupanddplay on September 5th, 2010 06:47 am (UTC)
So sorry I made you cry- but thanks so much for reading! It means a lot that it had such an effect. <3
Sarahyoursinginlover on September 5th, 2010 01:18 am (UTC)
wow. so sad.
so well written.
shut up and play.: NPH and David Kissshutupanddplay on September 5th, 2010 06:55 am (UTC)
Thank you!
a confederacy of idiots: LuReabrokencompass on September 5th, 2010 02:00 am (UTC)
Beautiful, but so heartbreaking. That's exactly how I want Tuesday to go.
shut up and play.: Generation Kill Waltshutupanddplay on September 5th, 2010 07:14 am (UTC)
The way the show's been going lately, I'm not optimistic that the ending will be anywhere near what these characters deserve- but I'm still holding out the slightest bit of hope that it will redeem itself at least somewhat with those final scenes.

Thanks so much for reading and commenting! <3
roseishroseish on September 5th, 2010 02:20 am (UTC)
I'm actually crying. I never cry for fic. That was beautiful.
shut up and play.: Luke and Reid Kissshutupanddplay on September 5th, 2010 07:17 am (UTC)
Oh, wow, I'm so sorry I made you cry...but thank you so much! It means a lot that it had such an effect.
roseishroseish on September 5th, 2010 12:53 pm (UTC)
Nothing to be sorry about! It was a very cathartic cry so I thank you.
playingwithcake: pic#100544546playingwithcake on September 5th, 2010 02:26 am (UTC)
That was so well written. It made me cry, but oddly enough, in a good way. I'm not too sure why! But thank you all the same. :)
shut up and play.: True Blood Ericshutupanddplay on September 5th, 2010 07:40 am (UTC)
Thank you for reading and commenting! So sorry I made you cry, but I'm glad it was in a good way, whatever the reason may be. :)
Still want him in your pack?_alicesprings on September 5th, 2010 02:32 am (UTC)
Oh god, *cries and cries*

That was really beautiful.
shut up and play.: Luke and Reid Kissshutupanddplay on September 5th, 2010 07:44 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! <3
msluredinmsluredin on September 5th, 2010 02:46 am (UTC)
beautifully well-written
"Then he's gone, Luke's hand still clutched in his own as his final breath fades away, the softest sigh of "love" lingering impossibly in the air as two lives shatter and the world- oblivious, unconcerned- continues to turn around them." - perfect line
I am shattered as well *sobbing*
shut up and play.: Luke and Reid Kissshutupanddplay on September 5th, 2010 07:48 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for the comment. It means a lot that it had such an effect!
Ripleysripley on September 5th, 2010 03:16 am (UTC)
This was... heart-breakingly beautiful. I love the last line, it's perfect. And the line about giving permission. God, this killed me. I'm barely biting back the tears. Thank you, for taking something so horrible and making it beautiful in a way I'm not expecting the writers to achieve. <3
shut up and play.: Luke and Reid Kissshutupanddplay on September 5th, 2010 08:33 am (UTC)
Thank you, for taking something so horrible and making it beautiful in a way I'm not expecting the writers to achieve.

Thank you so much for this comment. That's exactly what I wanted to accomplish with this- I'm still holding out hope (probably foolishly) that the writers will somehow manage to give Luke and Reid the ending they deserve.

Anyway, I'm really glad that this had such an effect, and thanks again for commenting. <3
bluemagicrosebluemagicrose on September 5th, 2010 03:44 am (UTC)
Don't you dare say this is one of the worst things you've ever written. This was beautiful. So so beautiful.
shut up and play.: Bare: A Pop Operashutupanddplay on September 5th, 2010 06:54 am (UTC)
I honestly didn't think much of it at all when I posted it, but these comments are making me want to take a second look! Thank you so much for the comment- I'm really, really glad you enjoyed it.
vernie07vernie07 on September 5th, 2010 04:50 am (UTC)
I'll just echo all those who commented before me and say beautiful and heartbreaking.
shut up and play.: Matt Doyleshutupanddplay on September 5th, 2010 07:03 am (UTC)
Thank you so much!
alex: OMG LUREastrolatryae on September 5th, 2010 09:37 am (UTC)
I've been on the verge of crying every second for days now, and that will continue for another few days, so that must explain why my floodgates toppled over at this:
Reid is tired. He can feel his eyes slipping shut against his will, vision blurring as the exhaustion overtakes him. But through the haze, he can still hear Luke's voice, feel his breath tickle his neck as he leans in to whisper, "I love you, too."

And it's almost like permission; the rush of relief that courses through Reid's body at Luke's words, the contented smile that crosses his face as he opens his eyes one last time to look into Luke's soul, to reveal everything he didn't have time to say, everything that couldn't be put into words.

That last sentence did me in. They just don't have enough time. There was so much left to say, to do. It's breaking my heart.

Beautiful story.
shut up and play.: Luke and Reid Kissshutupanddplay on September 7th, 2010 03:14 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for this comment. I feel the same way, that they don't have nearly enough time- it is heartbreaking. Well, I'm still holding out the slightest bit of hope that they'll manage to give these characters the farewell they deserve. Much as I doubt it, I'm hoping they'll prove me wrong.

Thank you again for the comment- it means a lot that the story had such an effect. <3
me_and_thee: Kurt/Finn by daichiconsme_and_thee on September 5th, 2010 10:19 am (UTC)
;__;

Oh my gosh, next week is going to kill me.

Which - along with your hypnotizing background - reminds me I need Kurt back in my life pronto if I'm going to survive ATWT. ♥
shut up and play.: Glee Rose's Turnshutupanddplay on September 7th, 2010 02:25 am (UTC)
I could not agree more! I miss his adorable face lighting up my screen every week. I definitely need some Glee back in my life. :P

Thanks for reading/commenting, btw! :)
yokotawaru: ATWT.L touch R k3on_the_ground on September 5th, 2010 03:48 pm (UTC)
Nice work! ;)
shut up and play.: White Collar Chained Togethershutupanddplay on September 7th, 2010 02:19 am (UTC)
Thank you! :)
jem_018jem_018 on September 5th, 2010 04:17 pm (UTC)
oh my. :( *sobs*

so heartbreaking.
shut up and play.: Luke and Reid Kissshutupanddplay on September 7th, 2010 02:13 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for reading and commenting <3
csifan3csifan3 on September 13th, 2010 01:23 pm (UTC)
Waaaaaaah! *cries* This was beautiful, absolutely beautiful!
(Also, beautiful song you chose as current music. Just had to comment on that <3 )
shut up and play.: Luke and Reid Kissshutupanddplay on September 18th, 2010 06:55 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

(And that song is so wonderful. I just discovered it recently- in a LuRe fanvideo, I think, as a matter of fact!- but it was definitely part of my inspiration for this story.)
rtrufflesrtruffles on December 28th, 2010 03:25 am (UTC)
This was beautifully written. So sad, but so much better than the ending they got on the show!

Great job!